Of Pregnancy, Perturbation and Predilection

#Preggers, #Babycoming #bumpiesarecool #rawmotherhood and #pregnantnotpowerless are just few of the popular pregnancy hashtags being used by #momstobe from around the world.

It is four in the morning and I feel like a turtle on its back as I struggle to get out of the bed for a pee. Tired and sleep-deprived after the frequent trips to the bathroom, I crawl up to my nest, made comfy with about half a dozen pillows and switch on my smartphone – my constant companion these days and the only thing that exhausts me to sleep with information overload.

I am promptly greeted with a message from Pregnancy+, one of the numerous pregnancy apps that I have downloaded. “Good morning Priya, you are 34 weeks 4 days pregnant today,” it says. That gets me counting the number of days that remain for my D-day. After some serious calculations using my fingers and other props, I conclude that the app isn’t getting the dates right.

It has got all the more confusing after the Indian method of counting the pregnancy term in months was replaced with the western style of calculating in weeks.

While there are numerous apps on pregnancy, I have this app titled Baby Centre that comes up with fresh articles for mothers-to-be on a daily basis. It has everything an expecting momma would like to know about and deals with so many issues and concerns of parents-to-be (many of which, I never knew, even existed). There are articles on almost everything under the sun – starting from foods that boost fertility to mood swings, from taxmoplasmosis to round ligament pain and Braxton hicks contractions, from dreams and nightmares to what to pack for your hospital bag, from selecting baby names to knowing your maternity rights.

Today’s article reads, “Learning to decode the terms they use in labour room”. Interesting! My eyebrows stretch as I get ready to feed my brain with all kind of abbreviations OS, PTS, UNG. Enough of this serious stuff, it is time for me to check the instagram for some positive vibes. I love the insta for the pics it has of moms around the world who keep posting pics of baby bumps, painted bellies, baby showers with cool hashtags.

Another app – pregnancy week by week tells me that this week my baby is the size of honey dew melon. It barely helps me imagine as I am yet to see this fruit for real. I was equally confused last month when it said that my baby was the size of a cantaloupe! (also a kind of fruit).

For those who are too confused, there are locally made apps like the Indian pregnancy and parenting app which have desi sections like “daadimaa ke nuske”.

As I scroll down my instagram page, I come across these videos of homebirths, waterbirths and nature births- the new trend picking up in the West in which one can find the husbands aka “birth partners” participating in the process and help their women deliver the child.

For a second, I try to imagine my husband doing the same but realise that it is something next to impossible. After all, his understanding about pregnancy has been limited to two terms – normal delivery and Caesarean. It reminds me of the day when I asked him to get baking soda for a urine-based gender test of the foetus that I read on the internet. He returned with a packet of “baking powder” first, and later with something called “bio soda” packet. I decided not to send him the third time. The bio soda packet now stares back at me each time I open my drawer.

I don’t find any new videos on C-section surgeries on the YouTube today. Yes, I have watched almost all of them. They were terrifying in the beginning and made me look for articles like, “C-section gone wrong,” “What they don’t tell you about pregnancy” etc.

I shared my fears and apprehensions with women around me and was advised only to read positive things that are good for the baby inside me. Somebody even suggested that I should be listening to “Garbhasanskar music” available online.

Well! it about 6 am now and there is this shocking news report on NDTV. Two doctors caught on camera quarrelling among themselves during a C-section. The baby dies. Doctors suspended. Gosh! enough stuff to ruin my day. I am dying to share this piece of news. Let me forward the link to one of my friend who is pregnant too. I want her to be shocked and worried and to feel miserable and then we can chat about the horrible health system we have in our country.

Wait, I have a text message from another friend of mine who is also expecting. She has asked me if my foetal heartbeat was more than 400? What? Where did she get that from? She seems to be using a more advanced app. Let me check the google playstore.