Foolproof

A dynamic Superintendent of Police (SP) of a district came up with a novel idea to curb eve-teasing. He let loose a few police constables disguised in burqas in the busy market area that was notorious for the nuisance. In about an hour, they nabbed a dozen Roadside Romeos red-handed. He personally drafted the case record to make it foolproof. But he never expected that the verdict would be, “Bottom-pinching a police constable in a burqa is not eve-teasing. Case dismissed.”

During my DFO days, I encouraged my subordinates, particularly, field staff to open up and express their grievance. A particular Forester, who was posted in an interior section was pressing me for transfer to a place close to his native town. Since he was a sincere worker with integrity, I was reluctant to transfer him although he had been there for three years. Once during a field visit, he sheepishly gave me a preposterous proposal; “Sir, please place me under suspension for six months. I want to construct a house in my native town. I cannot afford to engage a contractor and also cannot supervise the construction works myself, being so far away. While I am placed under suspension, I will complete the work. Since I have a clean record, I believe charges cannot be established. I will be exonerated and the period of suspension will be treated as duty.” Perhaps, he was being sarcastic, but he showed a way how to beat the Government system. I transferred him to an important section near his home town urging him to continue working with the same enthusiasm and sincerity.

I moved into the DFO’s Bungalow in Dhenkanal in 1986 a few days before Diwali. Mr Anup Kumar Patnaik had shifted to the adjoining SP’s Bungalow almost at the same time. In Odisha, Kali Puja is also celebrated on the day of Diwali with a number of public pandals being set up with huge clay idols of Goddess Kali. Mr Patnaik and I visited Puja Pandals late in the evening along with our wives and returned quite late. The next day morning around 8 am, I was woken up by my cook informing me that the attendant at my residential office had consumed poison and was admitted to hospital. Since it was a case of attempted suicide, I sought advice from Mr Patnaik. He asked me to stay at home and went to the hospital. He returned after an hour with a huge grin on his face; “Your man is trying to act smart. He has consumed a little amount of pesticide that can never kill a person, but is insisting to give a ‘dying declaration’. He wants to settle some score with the establishment clerk in your office. He has a story that the clerk called him to his house in the morning and offered him sweets, and he got sick and started vomiting after consuming it. The poison that he has consumed is so pungent that it just cannot be administered through food.” Now I could see through his ‘foolproof’ game plan.

In those days discretion of giving ad-hoc appointments for vacant Group-C and D positions, not exceeding 90 days was delegated to the Heads of Offices. He was one such person who had been appointed for 89 days on an ad-hoc basis before my joining. His term would have come to an end in a few days. He was trying to persuade the Establishment Clerk not to put up the file for his termination so that he could continue in that position by default and later could stake a claim for permanent appointment. The Establishment Clerk refused to be a party to this mischief. So, he wanted to teach him a lesson.

During my free time, I had learnt typing and shorthand (a method of writing quickly that uses signs and is used for taking notes during dictation). Typing skills were very useful but I never used the shorthand skills except on one occasion to sabotage someone’s ‘foolproof’ plan. Before joining the Indian Forest Service, I served as Lecturer in Physics at Ravenshaw College, Cuttack for about six months. Once I was assigned invigilation duties for Internal Assessment Examinations for Intermediate Science. When I entered the examination hall, I was amused to notice that someone had written down answers to probable questions on the blackboard in shorthand. Had I not learnt shorthand I would have never known what was scribbled. I simply wiped off the board with a chuckle and almost heard the sound of a crumbling heart.

Even animals can sidestep foolproof mechanisms. ‘Ekamra Kanan’ is a botanical garden and park located in Bhubaneswar, which has been carved out of Bharatpur Reserve Forests, a natural habitat of elephants. Therefore, many times elephants stray into the public area causing panic. To prevent elephants from getting into it, Forest Department erected an elephant-proof fence, a portion of which was electrified. But the elephants still managed to get in by breaking the electric fence using dry logs.

I am tempted to cite the story of Hiranyakashipu, who appeased Lord Brahma and prayed for a boon to make him immortal. The Lord refused to grant immortality. Therefore, he prayed for a boon that, he would not meet death from any living entity created by God, cannot be killed within any residence or outside any residence, neither be killed during daytime nor night, nor on the ground or in the sky, nor by any weapon, or by any human being or animal. He thought he acquired a foolproof mechanism to be immortal. But Vishnu appeared in the form of Narasimha and killed Hiranyakashipu without violating the boon granted by Brahma.

I conclude by quoting renowned English author Douglas Adams, “A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”