Ranveer Allahbadia To Udit Narayan: Are We Making Non-Issues An Issue?

A New Year party, an hour past midnight, euphoria dying down, a couple mildly drunk were seen dancing alone to the slowing tempo of the music. The music stopped, everyone clapped, and they hugged each other, ending with the girl planting a kiss on the lips of the man—her cousin brother. She breezed back to her waiting friends with an air of nonchalance, and when confronted by her friends sitting closely, her repartee was as candid…. It was just a kiss, man!

Those friends of the girl were scandalized and shocked!

Udit Narayan, the famous playback singer, was invited to a selfie mid-performance by a girl in the audience. While taking the selfie, she planted a kiss on his cheeks, and Udit responded immediately by returning a kiss on her lips. The Internet exploded with millions of comments in response to the act, with the majority castigating the singer for this inappropriate act.

Ranveer Allahbadia, a YouTuber, podcaster, and Influencer known by the name Beer Biceps with a formidable follower score was a co-host in the show ‘’India’s Got Latent’ said something to a participant which left many with a bad taste in their mouth. Many were outraged by his inappropriate remark. A case was filed, the police investigation has started, and the parliamentary standing committee on communication and information and technology is likely to summon him. Ranveer has gone public in seeking forgiveness for his act which happened in a state of over-excitement.

What’s common between these three incidents or controversies if we may call it?

They did something in a state of excitement or joy without meaning anything other than just – fun. But the people who were around or saw it on media didn’t take it like that. All three said something or did something either spontaneously or reacted in that way to some external trigger or the spirit of that occasion which they would not have done normally.

Many, upon realizing that they have overstepped, regret, and withdraw their words. Some ask for forgiveness when they see that the recipient or the audience in that situation is reacting negatively to it. Some lie low waiting for the tsunami of outrage to pass naturally. All cite momentary lapse of judgment as the reason and request people to forget it.

What is a ‘momentary lapse of judgment’ and how susceptible we are to it?

It refers to a brief, temporary failure or error in judgment, often resulting in an impulsive or unwise decision. This phrase is commonly used to describe situations where someone’s usual good judgment or common sense is momentarily clouded, leading to a mistake or regrettable action. In essence, a momentary lapse of judgment is a fleeting mental slip-up, where one’s usual rational thinking and decision-making processes are briefly disrupted. The phrase is often used to acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and that even usually responsible or level-headed individuals can experience brief lapses in judgment.

Examples of momentary lapses of judgment include; saying something hurtful or regrettable in the heat of the moment, making an impulsive purchase or financial decision, engaging in reckless or irresponsible behaviour, and taking a risk without considering the potential consequences. People getting scammed online also belong to the same category.

We have experienced it from both sides as the doer or the recipient of such acts.

Remember the last time at the school reunion you narrated an incident from the past in your speech? To you and others, it was funny but to your dear friend, it was embarrassing. You realized that when you found him sulking. You asked for forgiveness when you started seeing things from his perspective. You so wanted to reverse everything and wished it had not happened the way it did.

We all have seen how a sozzled Jijaji at a marriage reception goes overboard while flirting with his Saliji, much to the embarrassment of all the relatives and their children.

A friendly hug, if it lingers for a few moments longer, may put the recipient in discomfort. A friendly touch of yours dangerously borders on being judged negatively. A long stare at a public place like an airport terminal or a bus stop is seen as an intrusive act by a person from Western culture.

Ranveer got carried away in the new age roast comedy called ‘India’s Got Latent’ where the invited person is intentionally abused with impromptu comments by the judges to which everyone laughs including the one targeted. Wit and humour are enjoyed and celebrated. This is the latest rage in comedy shows. Samay Raina is the new star who has exploded into that space. This was a very Western thing and is gaining ground in India mostly in the metros and amongst people who are urban, intelligent, and mature.

They pick up one person from the audience and start a conversation and from the conversation, they pick up something odd and start making fun of it in good spirit. Anyone who enjoys a Max Amini show would understand. He doesn’t space people, their professions, races they belong to, countries they come from, their faith, and all the things we take as holy. No one takes the comments personally. The audience comes prepared that something like this would happen.

Such things are normal among boys during their school and college days. Languages and relationships are pushed to the extremes to the point of being unacceptable. To the passersby or audience, it may seem crass and inappropriate but boys mostly bond by roasting each other in the crudest or cruelest way. The same can’t be said about the girls. They don’t take such personal comments lightly.

We deal with people and society all the time and they have their holy cows, perceptions, values, sensitivities, and boundaries of tolerance. It’s unique when it comes to an individual or culture when it involves a group. Communication written, verbal, and non-verbal, gestures, body language, stares, and touches can please or offend someone or some group without you intending it to be so.

Are we all not treading dangerously on a path that is decorated with roses but has booby traps underneath?

As a human, we always can’t be in a state of alertness with the people we are dealing with or stay level-headed about the people and our surroundings only to do things to please them and not touch their lines of sensitivities which are unknown to us. Living with the constant fear of doing something inappropriate without intending to do so may make each of us proper but the world will be such a dull place inhabited by joyless serious people who are without wit, jokes, and humour. If the situation demands that we let our hair down and have some fun, we have to be prepared for such unintended accidents.

Then the only thing we are left with is to reach out to others at the earliest occasion and say a big SORRY to have hurt his feelings.

In India, we are seeing a new trend. The number of holy cows is just not limited to the cows now. Anything and everything associated with a political party is considered holy. Colour, festivals, cities, names, buildings, trains, and state programmes enjoy that status. People aligned with their thoughts or associated with them are becoming over-sensitive to jokes and mild critiques even as if it’s some crime against the nation. The same India, where slang and Gallis enjoyed cult status because of their creative use. Haryana is famous for Hajirjawabi, and Delhi for making MC, and BC a part of normal lingo. Places like Puri, Benaras, and Berhampur are known for their liberal use of profanities by common men. All know that they are not meant to hurt or offend anyone.

Are we becoming a nation of intolerant people or we are wearing our sensitivities like some badge of honour? Are we becoming serious about things that are not to be taken seriously?

Manoj Bajpayee dismissed the whole controversy by saying – they are immature and moved on to do something important.