Travails Of A Liar

“Winter is so pleasant in Dubai, why don’t you take me out on a walk?” my wife Sunita said as she handed me a cup of steaming hot tea and without waiting for an answer, added, “I know you will not ever take me with you”. I protested, fumbling for words, and said, “It’s only that I am not in good mood to go out.”

“Why, what happened? Earlier, you used to be in a terrible hurry to go out in the morning? Didn’t you succeed in fooling women in Dubai as in our country?” She went on giving vent to all her frustrations of four decades of marital life.

“But, but, my darling Sunny, you see, Dubai is a fantastic country, it’s only that it doesn’t allow all the freedom we enjoy in our country.” I tried to explain.

“What freedom is denied to you here? to hate, to lie, to denigrate people as you wish, to make fun of people with impunity, to indulge in riots, create mayhem whenever and wherever you wish, to chase, molest and rape women in public spaces? Is this the kind of freedom you want here?” she asked visibly annoyed.

“But, but, you see, these are the things that add so much spice to life, don’t they? If you can’t do all those things and more, what’s the meaning of freedom, as you say?” I tried to justify.

” You slovenly creature, you didn’t learn any lessons from all those kicks and bruises you got for all your ‘jungli’ ways of life?” she continued with her harangues.

I again protested, and said, “You see, our country is a great democracy and allows all these and more, without any fear of being punished. The most beautiful part of it is the freedom it allows to go on lying eternally without blinking an eye. And believe me, darling, people simply love to hear lies, especially beautiful lies, the more sugar-coated, the brazen and shameless they are, the better. And what’s more, you always say that humankind can’t bear too much truth, that truth is always bitter, never easily digestible, and the like.” I continued to convince her of my sincere value systems and judgement. Not ready to buy my arguments, she continued to show me the mirror and said, ” Look at yourself, you ‘jungli janwar’, the day has come for you when no one believes you, not even your own children”.

“But, but, again you are being very harsh to me honey, if I have been one of the greatest liars as you say, why has no one ever told me to my face? People always seem to believe whatever I said and have been so nice to me all along.”

“That’s because no one wanted to have any panga with a stupid character like you, do you understand?” she said and added, “come on now, let’s pack our ‘ganthlies’ and go back to your heaven of democracy that you like to live in so much. You ‘ganwar’, you don’t have any good taste or sense to enjoy the magnificent beauty of this great city called Dubai. People from all over the world come here to have a good time and here you are, you moron, completely out of place here”.

“But I always enjoyed visits to the beaches, you can’t always accuse me of being an uninteresting man, there are such gorgeous looking bikini-clad, even top-less women, how I love to be there, but you are not taking me there anymore.”

“You are an utterly shameless pig, you and your dirty eyes and mind, you never see anything beautiful in others, only the basest of instincts interests you”, she continued her tirade against my self-proclaimed refined ways of life. ” It’s high time you go back to your esteemed company of worthies like the ‘kachrawalas’, the so many bhaiyas, munnas, pappus, dadas, and didis,” she said at last in utter dejection.

“But, they’re my greatest inspirations, my darling, my role models in life, see what greatness they have achieved in their lives with their outlook like mine, and we don’t care how much you people vilify us every day. And don’t forget that we are so very popular with people who believe in us so blindly! You see, the end must always justify the means! We are who we are because of what we so passionately believe and practice in our daily lives.”