What’s With Men & Peeing?

Men peeing in the open is a common everyday sight in India. Most of the men even do it with gay abandon, caring two hoots for decency and propriety, carrying on the act as if doing a great favour to their brother gang and continuing the legacy of manhood. A few even love it when girls and women are around, turning around and
exposing their act with glee. Men peeing in groups laugh and joke as they urinate in public, united in their act.

In other words, Indian men, irrespective of social status, geography and culture, feel it’s their right and privilege to urinate in public. In fact, they enjoy doing so, pervading almost all places, even the most incongruous ones like religious places.

It’s not just peeing in the open, men also seem to be under the impression that it’s an act that does not need any privacy or discretion. Some men don’t even bother shutting the toilet door while urinating in office spaces. I have barged into gender-neutral toilets to find a man peeing and giving me a sheepish look instead of apologising. I am not venturing into the aftermath of some of these acts in common toilet premises in offices and other public places.

Those gross, unhygienic and extremely unsightly scenes in and around the toilet seats where men have been
aiming or not aiming, as if peeing is the greatest sport that they have ever played. Yes menfolk, we know you can relieve yourself everywhere and anywhere standing, without a care in the world – on busy roads, street corners, crowded markets, near buildings, outside the toilet bowl, on the toilet seat, from atop terraces and balconies,
from train doors – in short just about anywhere.

But performing this act inside the civil and supposedly well-ordered confines of an international aircraft and that too on a woman passenger is taking it to another deeply offensive, obnoxious and deplorable level altogether. It completely fails my imagination and understanding as to how the vice president of a multinational company could dare such a repulsive act, even under the influence of alcohol.

Although my male friends and family members would hesitate to ascribe this as a typical male act of violation coupled with total disregard for fellow beings, I am convinced it’s only men who are capable of such deeds, considering that they have been urinating just about anywhere.

Peeing is a natural bodily act for both men and women. But what a world of difference exists between men and women while conducting this very act and the circumstances in which they do so.

Most visible roadside urinators are men. And even when women do pee in public, it’s most often due to lack of toilets or other compulsions. It’s Indian men who feel the urge to urinate anywhere, without reservation, their backs turned to the world, disregarding the consequences of their actions. And it’s we women who are forced
to turn a blind eye to men relieving themselves.

Men do it anywhere and everywhere, women wait to reach home or look for a toilet, isolated spot or bush to conduct their business even at the cost of safety and hygiene sometimes. Of course, men just have to open the flies of their pants or something similar and can easily do it standing. But women have to bother about their clothes, the layers of saree, the dupatta and also finding an appropriate place to squat to relieve themselves. Add to it menstruation and pregnancy which make it even more challenging.

Men don’t bother about safety, darkness, insects, the presence of other people nearby or exposing themselves while relieving, but women have to consider all these even while scouting for an appropriate place for urinating.

A woman who urinated outside would be judged differently than a man who urinated outside. Men conduct their business publicly in full glory, while women have to be discreet making it as much a private affair as possible, trying to keep it hushed. Such is the conditioning of women that they tend to get conscious even when there are no people around. So much so that passing vehicles on sparsely populated roads and highways, and cattle grazing nearby are causes for alertness.

Worse are those men who also flash while urinating or pretending to urinate in public places. Just like their birthright to urinate in public, flashing seems to be an added entitlement. And what emboldens these men is the reticence and silence of women.

Even male public figures don’t shy away from urinating in the open, the way Rajasthan Health Minister was caught off guard urinating on a wall on the roadside a few years back. Many would justify peeing in the open attributing it to lack of toilets.

But not really so, for men pee even on the walls of public toilets! Lack of toilets may be an issue in some situations but we know it’s largely due to habit, culture, privilege and also display of toxic masculinity. I have often wondered,
if women can hold it for a while and relieve themselves when they have access to toilets, why can’t men?!

We women know how we circumvent and navigate sidewalks, roads and other places where men openly urinate, embarrassed and inconvenienced for an act that we are not responsible for. We are either forced to look the other way or avoid such pee hotspots or stretches altogether. Not to mention the unbearable stench that pervades the environment and creates unhygienic conditions. It is astonishing to think that this practice by men to urinate wherever they please is one of the biggest contributors to filthy public spaces.

Despite increase in access to toilets lately, the problem of urination in the open by men remains. So much so that many cities have been grappling to control the problem but with little success. In Bangalore for example, certain common open urination spots were identified by their urinating walls by the Bruhat Bengaluru Mahanagara Palike (BBMP) and large mirrors placed at the black spots to put a full stop to this practice. The step received a mixed response.

Even though many civic bodies have made urinating in public, among other things, an act that could attract a penalty, hardly any citizen gets fined. Even pasting photos of Gods on pee hot spots in several other cities did not stop men from urinating in public.

The problem of men urinating in public has even left courts baffled while hearing out petitions from property owners where the walls or the vicinity of their properties were getting soiled with frequent urination by men.

Roads, bus and railway stations, streets, playgrounds, parks, metro stations and other premises of public utility, you name it and men would have surely left their mark behind. It has become such a common practice that most people do not even bat an eyelid at such a sight anymore.

When I discussed this issue with my male friends and close male family members, they shrugged it off by saying it’s a natural practice for men, not something they have really paused and reflected upon. Of course, they raise their hands and say they don’t do it in public places, but sheepishly agree their counterparts do.

It’s a shame that we have still not been able to contain a basic sanitation practice with profound impact on hygiene, environment and the aesthetics of a city. While we are initiating ‘Right to Pee’ campaigns for females due to lack of toilets and urinals for women in public spaces, it’s high time we start a ‘No Right to Pee in the Open’ campaign to prevent men from peeing in the open in public spaces. More than additional clean toilets and urinals and imposing penalties, what we need is a massive shift in attitude and sense of privilege in men. And teach our boys and men it’s just not okay to piss anywhere or on anyone.