It was past eight in the evening and I had a deadline to meet. It had been a busy and demanding day, both at work and home, and my brain had started to fog. I decided to take a small break but was too tired to move from my table. My hands automatically reached out to my phone lying beside me for a sneak peek at my social media updates.
While scrolling distractedly, a comment posted on the page of one of my Facebook friends (who, by the way, I had never met but knew distantly) drew my attention. I automatically clicked on the profile of the person who had commented, curious what made her remark so. Soon after, I began checking her posts and among them was a personal tragic story narrated through a series of posts. I found myself reading all the posts and also starting to get mildly distressed about her story when I was suddenly reminded about my deadline. By this time, I had spent a good 26 minutes scrolling through the posts. I was overwhelmed by a feeling of both annoyance and idiocy for not only allowing myself to be swept away into the unending whirlpool but for also
getting affected by a complete stranger’s story which I had no business following.
I sometimes feel like an eavesdropper, a snooper and a harmless stalker on social media, looking up social media profiles of complete strangers, checking out comment threads on issues or topics which barely concern me and thinking about incidents that have occurred to friends of my friends who I don’t know or remotely know. I find myself mindlessly slipping into it and getting sucked into its endless vortex. Reading posts of cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy, running through mud-slinging posts of a couple on the verge of separation, going over nasty comments of a perennially offended acquaintance, checking cute and silly dance and pet videos or checking out now done-to-death mehndi, sangeet and wedding photos of people I hardly know.
And it’s not as if I am a social media addict. Far from it. Neither do I share the titbits of my personal life. But I must admit, every now and then I succumb to the malady of the great social media where you not only lose a sense of time, become unproductive, but also get yourself entangled in the lives of complete strangers, leaving you depleted. For a person with no voyeuristic tendencies otherwise, I am astonished that I indulge in a bit of it on social media.
And I know it’s not just me. There are several others who share a similar
predicament. “It’s baffling the way I get obsessed over someone’s life. Like many others, I come across strangers on social media and start following them, and weirdly enough I wait for their posts and stories which honestly are of no particular use or interest to me. But I can’t stop myself from scrolling feeds and updates every few minutes,” my friend reveals.
With people spending record amounts of time online, it’s not surprising we’re
consuming information, news and personal updates like never before with the private public, professional lines all blurring into each other. When some of my social media friends who are more of acquaintances than friends share either a tragic news or a celebratory moment, I am at a loss whether to commiserate or congratulate because in my real life I would not have. The chance of meeting them would have been slim and sharing something personal with each other even slimmer. But at the same time, I find it weird when sometimes I take an interest in their personal lives shared on social media which in real life I would not have.
And then there are other information as well. One click leads to another and here you are reading a radical opinion piece and there you are viewing a peace poetry, a photo essay on war here and an article on menopause there. It’s endless and mind boggling. But our voluntary and involuntary desire to keep ourselves constantly engaged and stimulated compels us to be on this excursion and not step away either due to our compulsion or from the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).
People often complain about the lack of time for themselves and for others, but they willingly spend hours browsing social media feeds and updates. Moreover, there is such a huge volume of information assaulting our hearts and minds that even useful content lose its appeal. Social media has indeed transformed into a voracious time-eater with relentless updates and news from friends, their friends and families.
And yet we cannot stop consuming them. “Every fourth or fifth feed on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram is a short video or reel meant to make our lives better and happier. I just can’t stop myself from watching those arty, cookery, yoga, self-help and DYI videos which honestly I have no intention of ever doing,” says my friend. “And there are mostly not of celebrities or experts but of social media celebrities!”
So why do we get swept into this huge tsunami of social media platforms? Why is that our hands reach out for that one ubiquitous device whenever we are bored, when we want to relax and when we want to be entertained? Even when sleep alludes us or when there is an impending deadline looming large? Also, it’s astonishing the way we navigate from one app to the other – moving from reading the obituary of an untimely death to watching a dance reel in another, checking the war status in one more and sending birthday wishes for a friend in another.
The sheer gamut of the content spread out on social media is mind boggling. It’s no wonder how little attention we pay for them, seeing one moment and forgetting in another. It’s fascinating and insightful research what it does to our brain. Like many other changes and fallouts triggered by the COVID pandemic, the obsession with mobile phone and social media grew manifold during the pandemic.
According to App Annie, a mobile data and analytics company, an average Indian spends 4.7 hours a day on the mobile phone, an hour more than what they were spending pre-pandemic in 2019. The Report reveals that seven of every 10 minutes on mobile was spent on social and photo and video apps in 2021.
Besides, with multiple apps enabling and engaging Indians like never before, the digital habits of people have undergone dramatic change. India saw a total of 655 billion hours spent on mobiles in 2021, a 37% increase since 2019. India ranked fifth in the global list with regard to time spent on mobiles following Brazil, Indonesia, South Korea and Mexico. On an average, Indians spent nearly 20 hours every month on WhatsApp. With over 26.6 billion app downloads in 2021, India continues to hold the second rank in terms of the largest app downloads market after China.
No wonder, people publicly share their private lives on social media more than ever before. What was once private, or known to close friends and families, is now shared with people whom we are following and who follow us. From
relationship status to work promotions, from birth of a child to announcements of break-ups and divorce, and from revealing sexual identities to sharing stories of abuse – both commoners and celebrities now share everything on social media.
But should we be really bothered or really affected if someone announces a heart break, a break-up, pregnancy or charges allegations of harassment. Is it really our business? Many times, it’s just another update. And sometimes it isn’t when we do empathise, stand up for people and strangers who are courageous enough to share their experience on social media.
Interestingly, our mindsets shift when we continuously follow people even if we don’t know them personally. We usually adopt mindsets and behaviours observed from our close social circles, which influence how we act under particular circumstances. And If someone’s thoughts and ideas is similar to ours, we are more likely to check what else that person has to share.
Human beings are curious as a species and our own stories and narratives are
weaved from the exchanges we have with other people’s lives and stories. We are also fulfilling our information needs and meeting other gaps by absorbing what others are doing. During the pandemic particularly, observing other people helped many in processing and learning to adapt to the situation. The gamut of diversified social media platforms in some ways helped us to make sense of the world.
And sometimes, social media engagements are not frivolous or idle pursuits. People do get inspired and motivated when they follow other’s lives. Social-media platforms have indeed helped in connecting with others and in crossing virtual paths with those we’d have otherwise never met. It’s valuable to learn from others’ stories. Seeing and reading about others’ experiences, fears and insecurities or validated by others can be an inspiration sometimes. Many use their social media bonds to better their lives. Being on social media is a form of escapism for many providing an opportunity for connection even if it’s virtual.
Nevertheless, the defining line is for us manage our social media consumption and not otherwise. What is alarming is the total disconnect people have from what they watch and absorb on social media or the virtual world and what is actually happening around them in their real lives. While it has amplified issues far away from us or to others, others, it has blurred the real issues happening to us or to people around us. So, among my two resolutions this year are to have regular social media embargoes and to enjoy the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO)!
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