Celebrity couple Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya apparently have some problems in their marriage. As news of their ‘impending divorce’ keeps dropping in dribs and drabs courtesy unconfirmed sources, it turns good fodder for netizen chatter. The social media know-it-all crowd must have its views on everything, isn’t it? And so opinions flow free on marriage, separation, child custody, saas-bahu equations and what not.
When people who know celebrities and celebrity life only from photographs and media gossip, and may or may not be married, happily or otherwise, pontificate on such topics with no inhibition, it makes an interesting study of their notion of the idea of marriage and perception of a successful married life. As this article is being written, there’s news that musical genius A R Rahman and wife Saira Banu have ended their 29-year-old marriage. It has added more fuel to the discussion.
Vandana Shah, Sara’s lawyer, provides some interesting insights into celebrity marriages. In a viral video on The Chill Hour podcast she says: “I don’t think infidelity is the cause of most of those marriages; it is boredom. They have seen it all, so they move from one marriage to the other because of boredom, which is not common in a normal person’s life… Also, adultery happens very often, but one-night stands are not a big issue. So the main issues are boredom – I am not given much importance, and I have to listen to people who are not involved in the marriage, it could be the mother, the brother, or the father-in-law…”
The celebrities and the rich live by moral codes different from ordinary folks. Money, the sense of freedom accompanying it and the like-minded social circle facilitate and encourage the deviation from what we perceive as normal. Their ideas of responsibility, parental, conjugal and otherwise, are different too. Let’s not be judgmental; different does not mean perverse. We don’t live perfect lives either. Society forces us to conform to the accepted and acceptable. Money and opportunity can make us break free. A look into marriages broken or the verge of breakdown around us reveals the reality.
The range of reactions on the social media to the divorce rumours on Abhishek and Aishwarya raises some interesting questions about our conception of the institution of marriage. Here are some points to ponder.
*** Is the durability of marriage proof of its success? Can short marriages followed by mutual separation be called happy marriages too?
*** Isn’t divorce, unless it’s forced, proof that there’s greater expectation from marriage among both sexes these days?
*** Is mental compatibility between spouses critical to the sustainability of marriages? What if incompatibility develops many years after marriage?
*** If marriage is about shared responsibilities in bringing up kids, what if they can happen without spouses staying together?
*** What if marriage curtails the scope for growth of either spouse as individuals, meaning it becomes more of a bondage than a liberating experience?
All divorces are not bitter. Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao are perfect friends and collaborators in creative work even after their divorce. Hrithik Roshan and Sussane Khan have been co-parenting their children even 10 years after separation. Farhan Akhtar and Adhuna Bhabani stay cordial to each other after breaking 16-year-old marriage. It requires certain maturity to acknowledge and accept the breakdown of a marriage. It also requires grace to let the other individual be.
Perhaps it’s an evolved universe they reside in or they have to put up a show to hide the pain. Whatever the case, it won’t stop being an abiding interest of curiosity for the outsiders.
(By arrangements with Perspective Bytes)