If wishes were horses…well, it’s time we thought better than beggars would ride and turnips were watches. It has been 400 years since the nursery rhyme was published, an update is long overdue. Since it’s goodbye time for the old year and the entire world is engulfed in the party spirit, let’s rework the rhyme to suit the mood. The horse bit has to go. There are few horses in our part of the world. Who likes turnips anyway? What about if wishes were whiskey or whatever beverage one has a fondness for?
The hullabaloo over the New Year would fade by the end of the first week, in most cases by the time the hangover from excesses in the big day is gone. The humdrum life of the year gone by, which we sought to forget in the haze of spirited celebration, would be back seeking revenge. The routine of life with its mix of daily highs and lows dullness would be back. If only wishes came true, one would want the celebration to go on and on. If not for the whole year, one week at least. Anyone up there listening?
What’s a New Year without resolutions? Many sure would have resolved to be their best selves in the brand new year. No bitching about friends behind their back, no cheating on the girlfriend or boyfriend, no hanky-panky at late night parties, no overspending on the credit card, no furtive smile after embarrassing the boss, no look of longing at the neighbour’s wife, no late arrival for any event and so on. And the biggest of them all, no more drinks for the whole year after the last drink of the year passes through the throat. If wishes were resolutions, they would be kept.
If wishes were the Indian cricket team, they would never lose. Rohit Sharma would score runs by the ton and so would Virat Kohli and so would KL Rahul and so would…well, that could be a long list. Bowlers would hit the middle stump every ball and get the opposition out in double digits. They would sledge the Aussies more without embarrassing themselves by losing after all the loud mouth stuff. Sanjay Manjrekar would be less obnoxious with his commentary and so would Sunil Gavaskar. Former cricketers would spew less venom on MS Dhoni.
Cinema lovers would surely have a lot of wishes. They would like filmmakers to stop making sequels and threequels and not leave endings hanging. They would wish franchise movies to take a break and not treat the viewers as morons who could be fed stale stuff in new packaging all the time. Bollywood heroes, they would wish, would learn something from their Southern counterparts and work harder for success. Arjun Kapoor would do something, anything, to look more convincing as a bad guy and Bobby Deol would learn that only a beard and a weird hairdo doesn’t make an actor.
If wishes were cars, then the middle class would have enough to pay EMI. If they were jobs all would have one. Let’s not go deeper. It is dangerous territory.
If wishes were months, there would be no January. December would continue without end. Happy New Year can wait some more.
(By arrangements with Perspective Bytes)
