My sixtieth birthday was celebrated by our Chairman, Jagadish Prasad Naik, and my colleagues in a way I had never imagined. Jagadish had personally planned the celebration and meticulously monitored every detail, simply to bring a big smile to my face. Though it was an official gathering, the warmth, affection and personal care with which it was organised made it one of the most precious occasions of my life.
My family, friends, colleagues and four writer friends spoke about the Ratnamala they had known—as a colleague, friend, entrepreneur, student leader and fellow traveller.
Among those who spoke was my friend, senior writer and storyteller Prakash Mohapatra, whom I affectionately call Prakash Bhai.
He said something that stayed with me long after the celebration was over:
“Ratnamala is not a bhagyabadi.”
By this, he meant that I was not someone who had depended upon bhagya—fate or fortune—to shape my life. He then quoted a powerful line associated with Karna:
Daivāyattaṃ kule janma, madāyattaṃ tu pauruṣam.
Birth into a particular family may be determined by destiny, but our paurusham—our courage, effort and actions—is ours to shape. He meant that I had trusted karma more than bhagya and had tried to write my own destiny through my actions.
I realised that his words reflected what I had always believed. Birth is not an achievement. We do not choose our parents, family, birthplace, social identity or economic circumstances. We simply arrive in this world with certain privileges and limitations. The real achievement is to give birth to ourselves through effort, courage, discipline, choices and perseverance.
Two ideas come to my mind: prarabdha and purushakara. Prarabdha is what life gives us—the circumstances we inherit and the experiences we must face. Purushakara is what we do with them—our initiative, determination and conscious action.
One is what life gives us; the other is what we make of it.
A person born into wealth and privilege may fail to create a meaningful life, while someone who begins with very little may build a life of extraordinary purpose. The difference often lies not in what they received, but in what they did with it.
Purushakara, therefore, is not merely labour or ambition. It is the courage to take responsibility instead of blaming fate or circumstances. It is the conviction to say, “This may be where I began, but it need not be where I end.”
Destiny may determine some events, but we retain the freedom to choose our response. That freedom is purushakara.
Prakash Bhai connected this thought with Jean-Paul Sartre’s statement, “Existence precedes essence.” We exist first and then gradually create ourselves through our choices and actions. I had neither waited for the fortune of a previous birth to reveal itself nor accepted that everything was predetermined. I had tried to write my own lines through action.
My road was never perfectly drawn. It emerged as I walked. Responsibilities, failures, uncertainty and difficulties often demanded a strength I did not know I possessed. At such moments, life seemed to ask only one question:
“What are you going to do now?”
That question shaped me more than any answer. I struggled, doubted, learned, corrected myself and began again.
With each challenge, another part of me was created.
Perhaps we are not born only once. We are born whenever we overcome fear, accept responsibility, rise after failure and discover a stronger self. A woman may be born when she recognises her own dreams; an entrepreneur, when she risks comfort for conviction; a leader, when she accepts responsibility; and a writer, when she finds the courage to speak her truth.
These births happen quietly—in moments of decision, courage, struggle and self-discovery.
Yet we do not create ourselves alone. Family, friends, colleagues, mentors and countless others shape us through their encouragement, criticism and faith. The celebration itself reminded me of how many people had contributed to the person I had become. I remain deeply grateful to each one of them.
But others may show us the path; we must walk it ourselves. They may offer us opportunities and place their faith in us, but we must develop the ability and courage to use them.
Thus, prarabdha and purushakara are not opposites. Prarabdha brings us to a situation; purushakara determines what we do with it. Destiny gives us the material; our actions shape it.
At sixty, I ask not only where I was born, what I received or what I achieved, but also what I made of everything that was given to me. Did my difficulties strengthen me? Did my opportunities enable me to help others? Did my actions justify the faith people placed in me?
Reaching a milestone does not end the work of creating myself. There are still dreams to pursue, fears to overcome, lessons to learn and responsibilities to fulfil. Perhaps many more versions of Ratnamala are waiting to be born.
To be born is an event. To become oneself is an achievement.
Destiny gives us a beginning; purushartha gives it direction and meaning. The day we consciously take responsibility for creating that meaning is the day of our real birth.
(Views expressed by the columnist are personal and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or policy of the news portal)
