God’s Identity Crisis

Time: The Taliban have taken over power in Afghanistan. Upstairs in heaven, God is confused over the strict and often violent means espoused by the outfit to reach Him.

Scene: God’s living room. Some men are sitting around sipping tea & chatting.

God (Frowning): Guys, I am suffering from an identity crisis. I need your help. How do you refer to me? I have heard about this thing called religion downstairs. What is it? I didn’t create it…

Darwin (Scowling): Err, this creation business is bullshit. For me, “The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic.” I don’t want to speak on this nonsensical issue.

God (Placating): But, of course. I respect your views too. After all, I can’t be blamed for not being secular, even against an agnostic. Ah ha! We have another man of science among us. Voltaire, tell us, what is God?

Voltaire (Nonchalantly): I reserve my comments.

God (Shocked): What? You were pretty free with your opinions down there.

Voltaire (Sighs): Alas. “Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes.”

God (Contemplative): True. But we need a scientific view. Here, Albert, enlighten us on this matter of grave gravity.

Einstein (Absentmindedly): E=mc2… Therefore mc2=E… Big Bang! No speed of light… Err, you were saying something?

God (Patiently): Yes Albert, please tell us, what or who is God?

Einstein: I would say, “That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.”

God (Smiling): Well that settles it for the scientist. Now, Vivekananda, you are well versed in Vedanta. Where do you find this “superior reasoning power” as Albert describes it?

Swami Vivekananda (Calmly): I find this power in humans. “The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him – that moment I am free.”

God: Well said, indeed. Now, we have a poet too. Khalil, what is God? This is a riddle.

Khalil Gibran (Reverentially): “And if you would know God be not therefore a solver of riddles / Rather look about you and you shall see Him playing with your children / And look into space; you shall see Him walking in the cloud, outstretching His arms in the lightning and descending in rain / You shall see Him smiling in flowers, then rising and waving His hands in trees…”

God (Grinning): I like it. O, I simply love poets. As for you Martin, you were devout, fought for harmony & equality, & always carried a Bible. So what did the book tell you about me?

Martin Luther King: I beg your pardon, but it’s a wrong notion that you exist in a particular book. “God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.”

God (Contentedly): Exactly. I didn’t write the books, you humans did. Everybody hails me in their books & abuses me in others. So, which side I am on?

Abraham Lincoln (Gravely): The question never bothered me. “Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.”

God (Sighs): But who cares? I am really very disappointed. The best thing is to end all this nonsense. I will make the human race barren. What do say, Rabi? After all, you are a humanist.

Rabindranath Tagore (Beseechingly): Lord, please don’t. “Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.”

God: Hmmm…

They talked upstairs & we continued to fight downstairs. (Curtains)