Bhubaneswar: Sanjeev Panda, an equity analyst from Bhubaneswar in Odisha, identifies himself as ‘Fighter Panda’ on the microblogging site, X. The ‘fighter’ prefix intrigues anyone scouring the internet for interesting posts. What catches the attention even more is the profile picture of the 45-year-old and his son and the bio, reading: ‘Father, fighting against the system to meet son, Arya, alienated, by his mom.’
Well, Panda’s fight is against ‘parental alienation’—a theorised process through which a child becomes estranged from one parent as the result of the psychological manipulation of another parent or often, as in the case of Panda and several others separated or divorced men, due to legal hurdles and custody disputes.
‘Waiting to see my child for over 4 years’
The last time Panda caught a glimpse of his son—a brief encounter of about 10 to 15 minutes—was on February 25, 2020, a date that he precisely remembers. His son was barely 9-year-old then. Since then, he has been pleading before the court to get custody of his son, now 13. It’s been more than four and a half years—the matter being sub judice—he hasn’t seen his son Arya. He is living with the memories of a trip to Shillong and a Diwali spent together with his son, a few months before getting separated from his wife. “In the four years, not a single visitation happened. The first court order allowed me to talk to my child for only 10 minutes over the phone. The reason that was cited was the third wave of Covid,” recalls Panda, who now runs a campaign ‘Hope Walk’ so that fathers like him don’t lose ‘hope’ or give-up to judicial delays and what they term as ‘atrocities’ inflicted upon by the system.
#HopeWalk3.0 to be held on July 14
In 2022, a group of such fathers—led by Panda—initiated the campaign. In its second edition in 2023, the ‘Hope Walk’—a prayer walk from Bhubaneswar to Puri—witnessed the participation of 12 deprived fathers and six supporters. The group will hold the third edition of the walk on July 14 on the occasion of Bahuda Yatra with actor Anubhav Mohanty flagging off the event from Kalpana Square. Recently, a film featuring the actor—‘Kuhudi’—on the theme of parental alienation was released in the theatres. “This year, around 35 to 40 fathers will join the cause,” Panda said, claiming that there are several incidents in which the fathers give up and end their lives. But, the walk aims to keep the hope alive.
‘Visitation orders are often violated’
In another case, a father—who doesn’t want to be named—has been allowed to meet his daughter for about two hours in a week. “It has happened many a times that the child was allowed to interact with me only for a few minutes and then hurriedly taken away to another room even though I had the court order of meeting her for two hours,” he said.
Often the visitation hours are not followed, most fathers claim. All the more, often manipulation by the other parent causes behavioural changes in the child towards the father. A child’s pleasant memories are erased as they are ‘brainwashed’ into believing that the parent is a ‘culprit,’ the fathers rued.
‘Deities returned, when will our kids be back?’
The fathers have strategically selected the day of Bahuda Yatra for the walk. Their logic is that it is the day when the deities return to their home. ‘But, when will our kids return?’ they asked. Odisha, being a land of Lord Jagannath, they will submit their prayers to Him, hoping their pleas will finally be heard. Besides this event, the group organises various programmes round the year to observe children’s day or father’s day. Be it by visiting orphanages or by organising ‘buttermilk’ distribution drive for pedestrians, the fathers find their way out to celebrate the special occasions even when craving to meet their children.
Parental alienation syndrome, a debated topic
The theory of ‘parental alienation syndrome’ was coined in the 1980s by US child psychiatrist Richard Gardner. But, it has triggered debate across the world with some supporting it, while others rejecting the idea. According to the news report in The Guardian, the idea of alienation in the family courts has gained traction in many countries, including Brazil, Spain, Italy, England, Ireland, Australia and Croatia. “The UN claims there are emerging patterns across various jurisdictions that indicate that courts worldwide are using the concept of PA as a litigation tool, despite it lacking “a universal clinical or scientific definition,” the report claims. “The tendency of family courts to dismiss the history of domestic violence and abuse in custody cases, especially where mothers and/or children have brought forward credible allegations of domestic abuse, including coercive control, physical or sexual abuse is unacceptable,” Reem Alsalem, UN Special Rapporteur on violence against women, had said in a 2023 report to the Human Rights Council in Geneva.
The UN claims there are emerging patterns across various jurisdictions that indicate that courts worldwide are using the concept of PA as a litigation tool, despite it lacking “a universal clinical or scientific definition”.
