…Then God help you.
But first, it’s quiz time.
Which is the world’s most underrated skill?
Take a guess.
I wish I could hear you now. Something makes me feel that most of you will not think of the answer I am looking for.
I am convinced about its validity. Without further ado, for me, it is:
Listening.
It may appear simple. But it’s not.
This is where the mighty fall.
This is where some of the best performers consistently falter.
They love to hear their own voice or are eager to share their perspective or thought, which they are proud of.
Listening does not come naturally to them.
They will first finish what they’ve to say. And then they briefly listen, if at all. Till they think of something else to say. When they do, they stop others in mid-sentence.
They believe they must say it first.
Such individuals are usually proud of what they bring to the table. And look to place it there at the first available opportunity. So be it if that means interrupting someone else’s speech and thought.
It reflects utter disregard on the part of the interrupter.
“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” – Bryant H. McGill.
Not listening shows a lack of respect or an uncaring attitude.
Even if it is not meant that way, that’s how it’s likely to be perceived.
Why Are There So Few Listeners?
Listening needs intent and patience.
You will listen only when you care. Or have the intent to.
You can’t listen if you are short of patience.
You can’t listen if you find it tough to stay quiet.
You can’t listen if “you” are constantly in your mind. The “you” in you must take a backseat. You’ve got to be fully present in the conversation. But first, you’ve got to keep quiet.
“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.”― Alfred Brendel.
I know many high performers who struggle to listen.
The inability to put someone else’s thoughts or speech before themselves pulls them down.
I don’t think they even try. Even when they do, it is more with the intent to respond rather than understand.
And some listen half-heartedly while engaged in other activities.
“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” — M. Scott Peck.
It gives the impression of not being present in the conversation and that the mind or attention is elsewhere.
Do You Listen?
Listening helps at all levels – those who do reap the dividends over time.
“Part of being successful is about asking questions and listening to the answers.”― Anne Burrell.
Not getting yourself to listen is a handicap. It becomes even more worrisome if you’re a leader.
But can you become a leader without this skill? No!
Boss, maybe; leader, no.
“Of all the skills of leadership, listening is the most valuable — and one of the least understood. Most captains of industry listen only sometimes, and they remain ordinary leaders. But a few, the great ones, never stop listening. That’s how they get word before anyone else of unseen problems and opportunities.” — Peter Nulty.
The finest leaders are great listeners who’ve perfected the craft of listening. Active listening and engaging with verbal and non-verbal feedback can help draw people out, foster collaboration, and gain people’s trust.
If you aspire to be a tall leader, you’ve got to hone this skill.
But why should you listen to me? 🙂
I get that, so I’ve borrowed a line from one of the wisest living legends of our time:
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” — Dalai Lama.
Ready to listen now?
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