In the initial months of the lockdown, I spent a lot of time watching exciting TV series and movies as a means of escaping from the boredom and stagnation surrounding us. However, as the months progressed every time I watched something exciting, it left me feeling sad rather than happy. Was it just my mind comparing the fast paced happening life on screen with the slow and uncertain life surrounding me or seeking transient happiness through traditional methods was yielding fewer results? I am not alone as there seems to be a universal feeling of increasing levels of unhappiness around us.
Human beings need both physical and mental health to live a fulfilling life. While working towards physical health is quite self-explanatory, attaining mental health through a balanced mind is a challenge in the best of times, so it’s proving to be even more complex in the current unprecedented situation.
Traditionally we have looked at happiness as the key to achieving our mental wellbeing. Our entire social construct is based on hedonism. It is expected that everyone will seek happiness be it in terms of name, fame, money and relationship. All those breaking ranks are seen as detractors, as aberrations to the norm.
Happiness is usually defined as an emotional state of being in a positive mood ranging from contentment to joy. However, does seeking happiness make us mentally balanced and give us lasting satisfaction? Countless research and almost all religious teachings state the contrary.
If you ask a homeless man, he would probably say basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter would make him happy. Yet, are people with the basic necessities truly happy? They probably want something more and this turns into a never-ending quest.
The standard of living across the world has improved over the centuries. Life as we know it has become a lot safer, more comfortable and filled with opportunities for the general public, yet the level of happiness has nosedived rather than gone up.
So how do we find mental balance and contentment? We can have a lasting sense of gratification by pursuing meaning and purpose, rather than chasing the transient feeling of being happy. Research has shown that people who live life with a purpose are much more resilient and have higher levels of mental peace than those without.
Purpose is about working towards a goal, contributing towards others happiness and wellbeing, rather than just our own. A doctor’s purpose is to save lives. If you ask teachers, they would probably be proud of the achievements of their students rather than their designation or actual job.
This is even more relevant in the current situation. The pandemic and subsequent restrictions make us feel unhappy and isolated. We feel a loss in purpose as we are unable to carry on with our regular life, from which we generally derived satisfaction. It has led to increased levels of anxiety and mental stress, may be due to changes in physical, familial or financial circumstances.
Often we hear people complain about being worried about the future or fed up with the current state and feel restless with life itself. Elderly people, especially those not busy with office and young kids, feel a sense of hopelessness from being away from family and friends or their usual social activities, which used to be their lifeline. These negative thoughts can in some cases even lead to a mild or severe depression.
We can overcome this by finding some meaning and purpose in life. It does not have to be a lofty charitable goal but a simple project using your strengths or based on your hobby could help.
Everyone can find some way of contributing towards the wellbeing of our society and gradually develop it into a long-term purpose in their life. Let’s say you can sew, why not help sew masks and donate them to key workers. If you can’t sew but are actually good at organizing, maybe you can help organize donations or orchestrate this event in your community. If you love reading you can provide online book reviews or record audiobooks. Even supporting kids learning from home, especially with parents who struggle to help them, would be nice.
You do not need any special skills or education for attaining purpose in life. All you need is a desire to do something meaningful, to explore your interests and available opportunities, and then work towards something that provides the elusive feeling of contentment.
The pandemic is finally giving us the opportunity to slow down, step back and relook at our single minded pursuit of socially acceptable ways of seeking happiness. It is giving us an opportunity to redefine our lives, to recognize things that truly matter to us and find a goal for contributing towards our society and consequently our own wellbeing.
Acting on it may help give us lasting fulfillment and bring a sense of value to our lives. It may keep us motivated and start our day with a determination to achieve something, rather than face another day of oblivion.
