It’s early evening and as I wrap up my last meeting for the day, close my laptop and go in search of a cup of tea my phone starts ringing. It’s a close friend calling for a chat. My face lights up on seeing her name but then I feel frustrated, it’s a video call and I really could do with a break. I cancel the call, put on my earphones and dial her back for a long relaxing voice chat, while enjoying my tea.
Later I wonder, am I the only one feeling like me and my house is always on display. A quick Google search tells me excessive video calls is causing a phenomenon called ‘Zoom Fatigue’, a mental fatigue caused by overloading our senses.
In today’s world of WhatsApp, FaceTime, Skype and Zoom I may be in the minority. My mom keeps complaining that I ‘never’ come on video when others’ children, the forever benchmark of ideal behaviour whose identities always remain shrouded in mystery, do.
I agree that having easy access to video calling is a blessing. With families spread across thousands of kilometres, it is possibly the only way to actually see each other frequently. Happy moments of being able to see your grandchild for the first time, born across continents, are priceless. It enables us to pay our last respects to a loved one, even more pertinent in the COVID-19 world, where travel is near impossible.
However, excessive video calls are not good for your mental health. There are actually two facets to the problem. The first is about overloading our mental processes, especially in group calls and second is the visual itself and what it conveys.
In a voice call we focus on one aspect, the voice. It means we work better at shutting down other factors, resulting in a better quality of conversation. While in a video call, we have to work hard to decode the multiple aspects of facial expression, pitch and tone of voice, body language and even reading the reactions of a screen full of faces. While this comes naturally to us in-person, almost as a background process, in a video call our brain works hard to do it consciously. This often leads to lost focus on the actual conversation and mental fatigue, over time.
It makes the whole call not only ineffective but often counterproductive to the very reason for having it, which was effective communications with the ability to read expressions.
In a personal context, we are unable to manage the dynamics between family and friends, as we are unable to tune into their inherent reactions. Imagine your mom speaking about meeting a friend but you can’t keep track of your sister’s expression changing, as your attention is focused on your mom’s face only. Who knows what you missed or what it may escalate to later on?
The next issue is the visual itself and what it conveys. I am not talking about just your personal look, although no one likes being viewed in pyjamas with frizzy hair, but of the whole background in view. Just like a picture says a thousand words, your background tells a lot about you. It’s like inviting everyone home and sharing about you. It’s an invasion of privacy.
This becomes even more apparent in workplace or educational institutions, which have traditionally been great equalisers, being a place where only you and your capability matter. However, a video call lets people see and sometime judge based on others social and economic aspects. Think of a bright but financially-challenged student trying to fit in at school. We effectively lose the level playing field.
While some video services let us mask our backgrounds, they generally need high spec hardware and this brings out the financial disparities even further.
Then there is the case of nosy folks trying to assess your personal life or possessions. Everyone has a distant cousin who wants to see the view from your window when mostly they want to see the size of your house or garden.
Sometimes it’s not always about hiding but displaying too. Some people make it a point to have their perfect house, perfect family etc., on full display.
On the one hand, it’s nice to see a friendly face after a long time or share a lovely view and a photograph does not always cut it. Sometimes it can be a life saver in case of an emergency too. On the other, an overdose of anything is bad.
The move towards it being expected as a social etiquette makes it stressful. It should always be an option and not a social compulsion.
Exactly like I try to keep my personal details away from social media, I do not want them on full display in a video call too. Neither do I want to take stress about how I or my house looks. So, for now, I will work towards keeping them to essential video calls only.
Meanwhile, to keep my mom happy, I do a short video call to ensure she is well, let her see me along with the Jasmin she planted doing good, then switch to audio for a more meaningful conversation.
