I Was An Outsider, Was Close To Committing Suicide: Manoj Bajpayee

Mumbai: ‘Satya’ actor Manoj Bajpayee’s journey from Bihar to being a popular Bollywood actor in Mumbai wasn’t an easy one. What kept him going was his dream to become an actor.

In an interview with the Humans of Bombay, Manoj stated that he was an outsider who tried hard to carve a niche in the industry and it wasn’t easy at all.

During his struggling days, he even had suicidal thoughts. His friends were so worried that they never left him alone and used to sleep next to him.

“I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi.. Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted (sic).”

The ‘Aligarh’ actor had struggled for around four years before getting a break.

Recalling the hurdles he faced when he was a beginner, Manoj said, “All the while, I struggled to pay rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs 1500 per episode, my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else (sic).”

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“I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar with 5 siblings–we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny. But I couldn’t afford to dream & continued my studies. Still, my mind refused to focus on anything else, so at 17, I left for DU. There, I did theatre but my family had no idea. Finally, I wrote a letter to dad–he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye. I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi–Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted. That year, I was at a chai shop when Tigmanshu came looking for me on his khatara scooter–Shekhar Kapur wanted to cast me in Bandit Queen! So I felt I was ready & moved to Mumbai. Initially, it was tough–I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face–so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen. All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episode–my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew…I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams–when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else.” — HOB with @sonylivindia brings to you the story of Manoj Bajpayee, whose life has come full circle. To watch his award winning performance in Bhonsle, click on the link in bio!

A post shared by Humans of Bombay (@officialhumansofbombay) on Jul 1, 2020 at 5:25am PDT

Manoj Bajpayee is one of the most respected actors in the industry. After hogging the limelight in Ram Gopal Varma’s ‘Satya’ in 1998, he was appreciated for his roles in Kaun (1999), Shool (1999), Zubeidaa (2001), Road (2002) and many other films.