A woman who is ambitious and striving is a Bitch
A woman who is attractive is Hot
A woman who is stylish is Sexy
A woman who protests is Hysterical
A woman who is striving to create an impression is Desperate
Two or more women arguing strongly are said to be in a Catfight
A woman who is too friendly is Easy
A woman who is serious is Tight-ass
A woman who is conservative is a behenji
Ask a woman if she’s been called any of these words and in all probability, she’ll answer in the affirmative. For example, it’s a pretty universal experience for strong women, especially if they’ve held a position of power in the workplace, to be called a b****.
In contrast, we don’t have any such references, labels, categorisations, slurs or cuss words for men. I racked my brains, tried rummaging through my observations and memory for such markers for men. But nope, there are hardly any.
It’s only women are often at the receiving end of both casual and serious sexist slurs and comments throughout their lives and in nearly all the places – at home, in families, schools, colleges, work places, public spaces etc. From being branded with ‘typically women’ (hysterical, bitch, catfight) labels and being graded as per their physical features and attributes (read assets – legs, breasts, bottoms) to being referred to in most of the cuss words – it seems as if they are made for women only. And this practice transcends class, regions and nations, openly expressed even in the presence of women and form the basis for many a male jokes and opinions.
Gender bias, misogyny and aggression toward women is not just limited to acts of violence and other forms of discrimination, also expressed quite potently through language and expressions. The seemingly harmless use of such words and vocabularies leads to the institutionalisation of misogyny and propagates patriarchal structures insidiously latching on to established gender norms and societal processes.
Lately, online aggression toward women has become common too, which reinforces traditional feminine norms and stereotypes. A study “Sexist Slurs: Reinforcing Feminine Stereotypes Online published in 2019 found that this type of aggression on Twitter is common and extensive and that it can spread far beyond the original target. The researchers located over 2.9 million tweets in one week that contained instances of gendered insults (e.g., “b****,” “c***,” “slut,” or “whore”) – averaging 419,000 sexist slurs per day. The vast majority of these tweets were negative in sentiment.
The Study also found that words in a message that reinforce feminine stereotypes inflate the negative sentiment of tweets to a significant and sizeable degree. These terms include those insulting someone’s appearance (e.g., “ugly”), intellect (e.g., “stupid”), sexual experience (e.g., “promiscuous”), mental stability (e.g., “crazy”), and age (“old”). Hostile, sexist tweets are strategic in nature which aim to promote traditional, cultural beliefs about femininity, such as beauty ideals, and they shame victims by accusing them of falling short of these standards.
The so-called harmless labels and slangs not just demean women but also reinforce the prevalent sexism. When women are at the receiving end of sexist comments including slurs and remarks about their body, physical appearance and personality in their day-to-day lives, it undermines their capabilities, confidence and performance too.
Such practices also implicitly reinforce cultural norms and stereotypical ideals of female appearance and behaviour. For example, women are more likely to be criticised for being aggressive and outspoken than men. While men are generally praised for being assertive and outspoken, women are often criticised for their assertiveness and their opinions. While the characteristic or the behaviour is the same, the terminology tends to differs as per the gender and thus the assumptions around it.
Worse is the casual attitude displayed while using abusive language and sexist slurs with many people even ignorant of the literal connotation of sexist slurs. So much so that it has got ingrained in the daily lives with people using the words even in families and in front of children too, normalising its usage and acceptability. Sexist slurs tend to have a negative impact on children who start showing signs of emotional and mental distress. They lose self-confidence and experience anxiety, indecisiveness and depression.
While swear words in India and elsewhere might sound different from place to place, they have one thing in common: They all have women in them. Shaming or threatening or insulting women. The most common yet disturbing profanities, even if they are directed at men, are centred on words abusing women. Various forms of these expletives are used to refer to someone who is depraved enough to have sex with their mothers and sisters or refer to the female genitalia.
The slew of pejorative words and slangs mostly imply that women are only sex objects. And the target at whom these words are aimed at is offended and derided for his inability to protect his women from losing their way. More as an accomplice who participates in their sexual depravity. Such profanities also make it seem like a woman’s body is the origin of honour and that this honour is paramount. The premise rests upon this notion that a woman’s body is a site of honour, and by insinuating promiscuity or sexual misconduct, it desecrate this honour.
While all the profanities, called as ‘Ma Behen galis’ have mothers and sisters loaded, in them, no parallel words exist for fathers and brothers. Yes, men are referred, but only as a “son of a b****”.
Languages do not evolve in cultural vacuums and are a product of society, social structures and systems. Caste, class, gender, race, etc., affect language, and language in turn shape the thoughts and attitude of the speakers. There are several ways in which sexism and misogyny is predetermined in our languages to control and subjugate women, a consequence of patriarchy. All languages have such gendered patterns and mirror our assumptions and biases about gender.
Even phrases like “crying like a girl,” “haton mein mehndi laga hai kya” (you are as incompetent/useless as a woman with henna on her hands) and “haton main chudiyan pehn ke baitho” (wear bangles on your wrist and act like a sissy) – all point towards women being the weaker sex. Which in fact is the core foundation of patriarchy and that which negatively correlates the feminine with weakness and idiocy. Such expressions have been a part of popular culture for many years.
While things are gradually changing and women and a few men are raising the red flags and their voices, it’s equally important for this tribe to grow, for more and more people to become conscious of the usage of such words, their connotations and implications. Being aware and conscious of the sexism in our language and expressions is imperative if we want to break the cycle of sexism. So remember, the next time when you are about to utter such a word, slur or a profanity, casually or deliberately, it’s time you bite your tongue. And importantly, if you hear someone utter something similar, object and disapprove.
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